Young and in Love: Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage by Ted Cunningham

Summary: Early marriage might not be a problem; instead, it might just be a solution. In Young and in Love, Pastor Ted Cunningham boldly suggests that early marriage is not as harmful as many believe and even offers the solution to staying sexually pure. He guides young adults through the arguments against early marriage and then reveals the secrets to creating a healthy, successful, and life-long relationship in early adulthood.

Developing a godly relationship can be hard when you fall in love at a young age. Few people offer support. Many doubt your love is real. It seems almost everyone—your friends, your parents, even your church—thinks you are much too young for marriage. You’re not ready. But maybe that’s not true. Cunningham explains where the arguments against young marriage often go wrong. Then he offers wisdom on how to know if you are making the right choice including the Four C’s: Character, Chemistry, Competency, and Calling. He’ll help readers understand what it takes to be ready for marriage. And along the way he’ll show that the answer to staying pure might be to prepare for marriage. Because it’s often easier to say, “Let’s wait” when “I do” isn’t so far away.

According to Cunningham, “Ultimately, Young and in Love honors marriage and encourages marriages in the making. This is not another purity book teaching you how to suppress any and all feelings of love. No way! I want you to express your love and then enjoy marriage. So if you kissed dating goodbye, it’s time to say hello! If you have kept true love waiting, I tell you now, wait no more. Get married!” Young and in Love packs a mighty hard punch in a velvet glove of humor and wit. Readers will feel validated in their young love, they will be given the tools to make a wise commitment, and they will be challenged not to delay what God is knitting together.

My Thoughts: Excellent, excellent book! My husband and I were high school sweethearts, but didn’t marry until he finished college (I had one semester left after we got married). And it was for the very reason that we “needed” to get college out of the way first. We “needed” to get ourselves ready for life before we were “ready” for marriage. At the time we got married, we had been dating for over FIVE years. Yes, FIVE. And, no, unfortunately, we were unable to remain sexually pure. We tried – and made it until we were engaged. At that point, the “justification” was that we were almost married, and we knew marriage was just around the corner. Still, it was wrong. If we had married even younger, we would have made it. It’s really the only regret I have in regards to our marriage.

Anyway … back to the book. I loved it. It’s a quick, easy read – but overflowing with excellent information and advice. And I just love Pastor Ted Cunningham! His voice is excellent, and his stance on dating is awesome. You see, I grew up in a church that was very anti-dating. VERY. It was horrible, and rooted in fear, as I believe their reasoning was that by NOT dating, we were removing ourselves from the temptation to have sex before marriage. Neveramind how hard it is to actually find your spouse if you’re unwilling to date! Cunningham says that dating is an important part of falling in love, and even calls it a possible budding marriage. I wish someone had said the following while we were growing up:

Be on guard against any ministry that deters twentysomethings from dating. When you’re single and surrounded by hundreds of other singles, that’s the perfect time to find someone and get married. ~ pages 73-74

The church I grew up in was against dating in general – ALL dating. From teenagers (which, frankly, should be the parents’ decision) and college students, to those well into their adulthood. There were many in the church who wanted to get married, but refused to date. How anyone expected to get married, I have NO IDEA. As Pastor Cunningham says,

Sitting at home waiting for a “match” or for your phone to ring is like expecting a call from a company that never received your resume. ~ page 113

Now, the context of that quote actually is talking about using online dating/matchmaking services. But, I think it applies here, too.

Anyway, not only does Cunningham encourage people to date, but he gives young couples information to help them discover if marriage is right for them. Things to ascertain whether you’re with someone you should be marrying, someone who is a responsible adult. And he tackles the idea of adolescence, saying basically it’s extended childhood.

I loved everything Cunningham says, and his voice is one I find myself wanting to read more of. I half jokingly told my husband I wanted to move to Branson, Missouri, so we could attend Cunningham’s church! LOL

I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is young and in love (surprise!), especially if they have people telling them they’re just not ready. And, really, their parents and naysayers should also read it. This has helped me think about how I will approach that time in my children’s lives – the time when they are young and in love.

Favorite Quotes: There are a ton of awesome nuggets in this book. I’ll just share a few.

The only part of creation that God declared as “not good” was man’s singleness.
~ page 13

An interesting fact that I’d never really paid attention to before. Makes me think.

One thing I’ve learned from hanging around older, wiser men is that people who are hurting often hurt other people. The issue is rarely ever the issue. ~ page 76

It doesn’t matter what the context of this one is. It’s so true, but something I know I often find myself forgetting from time to time.

Look for the guy who will work any job while waiting for the right job. ~ page 143

Such excellent advice for young women!

Most young people today are being told to get their careers going first. But one oversight of that advice is that God can use your spouse to help establish your personal career and calling. ~ page 191

Cunningham goes on to say that his wife, Amy, helped him find his life’s true path. Had he delayed marriage, he would have went the wrong way.

Source: Huge thanks to Audra Jennings with The B&B Media Group, Inc. for sending me this book in exchange for an honest review.

Read It: Get your own copy HERE. (This is a Book Depository link, and purchase through this link will result in my receiving a small commission at no cost to you. Your support is appreciated!)

About the Author: Ted Cunningham is the founding pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, Missouri. He is the co-founder of Two Ignite, a local church movement created to strengthen marriage through adventure. Ted is a speaker with the Smalley Relationship Center and has co-authored four books with Dr. Gary Smalley: The Language of Sex, From Anger to Intimacy, As Long As We Both Shall Live, and Great Parents, Lousy Lovers. He has been a guest on Focus on the Family, Life Today, and Moody Radio. He is a graduate of Liberty University and Dallas Theological Seminary.

Cunningham loves seeing lives changed, marriages rescued, and families saved. He met his wife Amy on a blind date at Liberty University and determined to marry her that night. Although he didn’t ask her then, she said “yes” to his proposal a year later. Now married for 15 years, they both love taking road trips and boating on Table Rock Lake with their two kids who reside with them in Branson, MO.

Challenges: Counts for the 100 Books in a Year Reading Challenge.

Find me on Goodreads.com >>

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*****WIN IT*****

I am able to offer 1 copy to one lucky reader! I do not require anything in order for you to enter. Simply leave a comment to this post. ONE ENTRY PER PERSON.

Entries will be accepted until 11:59 p.m. (Central) Saturday, September 3, 2011. The winner will be chosen randomly with the help of And the Winner Is …, a WordPress plugin. I will send the lucky winner an e-mail notification. (It will come from proudbooknerd(at)gmail(dot)com, so make sure to add this address to your safe list or address book so doesn’t get lost in junk/bulk mail.) If I do not get a response within 48 hours, a new winner will be chosen. Unfortunately, this giveaway is only open to readers in the U.S. Must be 16 or older to enter.

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FTC Disclosure: All items reviewed were either obtained by me for my own enjoyment or sent (from the author, publisher, publicist, via tour sites, etc.) in exchange for an honest review. I receive no monetary compensation for my posts. All opinions expressed are my own.

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