Review: Denial: A Memoir of Terror

Denial: A Memoir of Terror by Jessica Stern

Summary: Alone in an unlocked house in a safe neighborhood in the suburban town of Concord, MA, two obedient, good girls, Jessica Stern, 15, and her sister, 14, were raped on the night of October 1, 1973. When they reported the crime, the police were skeptical. Their father, away on business, did not return for three more days.

Following the example of her family, Stern—who lost her mother at the age of three—denied her pain and kept striving to achieve. But while her career took off, her success hinged on her symptoms. After her ordeal, she could not feel fear in normally frightening situations. Stern thought she’d disassociated from the trauma altogether, until a request took her back to that night more than 30 years earlier.

The world-class social scientist and expert on terrorism and post-traumatic stress disorder began her own investigation, with the help of a devoted police lieutenant, to find the truth about her rapist, the town of Concord, her own family, and her own mind. The result is Denial, a candid and deeply intimate look at a life, a trauma, and its aftermath.

My Thoughts: This book is not just a recounting of the author’s own experience, rather it is an investigation into terror. Not the kind of terror we think of in post-9/11 days, but extreme, intense, crippling fear. The kind of fear that leads to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). She recounts her own experience with this kind of terror, and also details others’ experience. We see that terror is as individual as one’s definition of happiness – and the same can be said for one’s response to such experiences.

This was very hard to read. It was very well-written, but the subject matter is just hard to read about. Her personal experience, the tiniest details of her rape, her childhood sexual abuse, and her family’s time as Jews in a hostile Germany. I wanted to read this quickly, but could not. I had to take my time. In part because of the subject, but also because of the writing style. It’s almost stream-of-consciousness writing. Stern often shares her feelings about what she’s writing in the midst of whatever it is she’s currently sharing. To me, that makes it rawer, more emotional, and that much more personal. I cannot say it enough: this is very difficult to read. Don’t expect to breeze through this. It requires thought, processing, and some amount of distance – I had to put it down at times just because it can be overwhelming.

My Rating: 3.5 stars

Source: Received through Crazy Book Tours for review.

Read It: Get your own copy HERE. (This is an Amazon link, and purchase through this link will result in my receiving a small commission. Your support is appreciated!)

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FTC Disclosure: All items reviewed were either obtained by me for my own enjoyment or sent (from the author, publisher, publicist, via tour sites, etc.) in exchange for an honest review. I receive no monetary compensation for my posts. All opinions expressed are my own.

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